Wheel of Fortune

The Dodgers are buying all the vowels -- and a couple hundred Ks

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Remember the old version of Wheel of Fortune? The one where the winning contestant, after successfully solving a puzzle, would spend their money on objects from a studio filled with glamorous prizes nobody ever needed?

A ceramic Dalmatian, a brass fireplace screen, maybe his-and-hers warmups; it was as much a part of the ’80s as Rickey Henderson, Fernandomania, and the Bash Brothers. And if the contestant was lucky enough to shop from a travel-themed showcase, perhaps there would be a six-day, five-night stay in Toronto, Canada, with roundtrip airfare from Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, eh?

The Dodgers must have solved another puzzle. Earlier this week, they went shopping in the right-handed power showcase and snatched up Teoscar Hernandez.

Please forgive me if the signing of Teoscar makes me a little grouchy.

For those who believe there’s no such thing as a bad one-year deal, Hernandez obliged by accepting a reported $23.5 million ($8.5 million of which is deferred) in exchange for his services in Dodger Blue this coming season. Coming off a down season with the Mariners, Hernandez has a chance to reestablish his value in 2024. How about earning $20 million in present value salary while trying to prove your worth to the league? And how about doing so with a team that has committed more than $1 billion in payroll this winter — and will be favored by many to win the World Series?

For anyone who has concerns about the overall financial well-being of the industry, please see Hernandez, Teoscar.

Hernandez’s strength — punishing left-handed pitching — fills a roster need in LA. Their outfield, the Dodgers believe, just became that much more formidable.

Hernandez will look to bounce back after a season in which his numbers on the road were much better than at home.

He batted .217 and slugged .380 at T-Mobile Park, while hitting .295 and slugging .486 in away parks. His performance was pretty much better across the board when he wasn’t in Seattle — a slightly better walk rate, a few less strikeouts, much greater success on balls in play. He delivered significantly more singles on the road (64 vs. 40). A deeper look reveals he hit many more ground balls and line drives away from home, batted ball outcomes that lead to more base hits. I don’t have an immediate explanation, but I bet the Dodgers do.

I do believe that Hernandez will make the Dodgers a better team from April through September. He’s built for the marathon: useable power and a history of crushing lefties while still finding success against right-handed pitching. He also brings tons of strikeouts and fringy defense. The Dodgers are built to withstand a few misplayed balls and some untimely swing-and-miss in the regular season. But if winning the NL West really comes down to the performance of Teoscar Hernandez, I have a billion questions that I won’t defer for Andrew Friedman.

Last year Hernandez struck out 211 times, trailing only Kyle Schwarber (215) and Eugenio Suárez (214) for most in baseball. He fanned in 31.1% of plate appearances, fifth most egregious in the league. Over his career, he’s struck out in 29.7% of plate appearances. Use whatever numbers you like; the dude strikes out a lot.

He’s also very well liked as a teammate, I have heard. Let’s not kid ourselves: it’s his right-handed power was the true selling point. But if the Dodgers stumble into a good character guy at the same time, it would be a bigger win than the analytics could ever reveal.

Penciled in as the Dodgers everyday left fielder, Hernandez will find himself in the bottom half of the lineup, certainly behind Mookie Betts, Shohei Ohtani, Freddie Freeman, and Will Smith. Really, my biggest question is: By the time Hernandez comes to bat, will it be 2-0 or 3-0?

I can’t help but wonder what has gone wrong if, at the end of the upcoming season, we are discussing Hernandez’s regular-season impact. Betts, Ohtani, Freeman. I suppose that fleshing out other parts of the lineup with all-or-nothing bats should work just fine.

But what do the Dodgers really need from Hernandez?

Two years ago, it was the Padres who eliminated LA in the NLDS. This past October, it was the Diamondbacks. Winning 100+ games in the regular season hasn’t been the problem in the years that followed the Dodgers’ World Series title in the pandemic-shortened 2020.

Even with some question marks in the starting rotation, the Dodgers are well poised to win the division again. The marathon isn’t the issue. It’s the sprint. And during a sprint, every bobble is magnified. In a short series, we’ve seen how shaky defense and unproductive outs can punish teams. The Dodgers need Hernandez to be at his best during the postseason when opponents will look for — and find — ways to make sure that the very best players don’t beat them. Hernandez’s one year in LA will be defined by October.

We’ve gotten this far without any mention of Yoshinobu Yamamoto or even Tyler Glasnow for that matter. Is Hernandez merely a momentary distraction during a quiet part of the offseason? The Dodgers are flexing the financial muscle they’ve been hiding under long sleeves for so long. Why the false modesty, Los Angeles? Well, this year’s team is showing up in tank tops. You’ve been warned. Why should they stop flexing now?

Much to Pat Sajak’s delight, the Dodgers don’t want to take any leftover money in the form of a gift certificate. I want to see that ceramic Dalmatian in their dugout.

Opening Up The Cellar

I recently mentioned some new wine writing opportunities that came my way. After exploring my options, I found that establishing a new blog — separate from WTP — was the best way to go. Now, my wine writing will have a place of its own, and it won’t impact what happens here or what shows up in your inbox at all.

If you’re interested in checking it out, visit cellared.substack.com to read the debut entry of Cellared with Ryan Isaac.